Pushover.

I wasn't going to give this a chance
It didn't really seem right
but I was being, stupidly, presumptuous.

I keep saying "it looked good on paper"
about the failed attempts.

Failed attempts do teach, if nothing else.

Ego gets in the way
If it doesn't make sense to me, it can't be real.

A fool, I am.

Something new arrives
different, comfortable -
stupid, it would be, not to try.

Trying not to rush
not to push
to just be honest

Wondering, always.

Somehow
without realizing it
not over-thinking.

Not over-analyzing.

Putting the left brain on the back burner.

Holding on.

I will never know your pain (or so I hope)

You, always so strong, believing you don't have the strength

I can't call the desire selfish, I know it too well

I can't let go, though

Keeping you here has taken so much, more than I had

I know some things are inevitable,

but part of me will go with you when the time comes.

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Understanding.

13,14 July, 2010

I titled this "Understanding", I could have easily titled it "Playing around with woodworking metaphors."  

I get it.


Finally, it makes some sense.  Some being the most one should hope for.


It's either right, or it isn't.  You cannot make it right.  You cannot make it fit.  


This is not a job for a hammer.  There are no nails here.


You try to make it fit - you bend it, you shave it, you force it.  All you are doing is causing damage.


Stop.  Accept.  Appreciate things for what they can be - don't worry about what they should be.  Stop.  Accept.  Appreciate.  Repeat.


It happens on its own.  Pieces fall into place.  No hammer, no plane, no spokeshave.  


Measure and weigh all you want, no alterations are necessary.  

It's right there.  It's in front of you.  You don't even have to reach for it, you just have to see it.  It will be reaching for you.

See it.  Embrace it  

You will wonder.  You will question.  You will be filled with disbelief.

Trust.  Put away fear.  Relax.











 

G

(this is a work in progress, some parts I'm not happy with)

You are an opportunity almost missed,
you are joy and happiness I might have never known.

In your innocence you are perfect, you
are the reason I fear to do wrong - never
wanting to see that reflection.

Your smile expands my universe,
your joy tames uncertainty.

Your needs are paramount, though I am never
sure how to meet them - we do our best,
and hope that it is enough.

I will never live up to what I want for you,
but the attempt will be its own reward.

Jun 28/2010

Jun 28/2010

New feelings, new passions

Frightening, a dream come true 

Resenting cautiousness
No room for future regret
Measure twice, cut once, ha!

Being responsible, protective, but
Afraid to risk an opportunity, the opportunity

Relying on patience, and acceptance
An unfair compromise

Recognizing weakness - committing to something better
Ready for change

Jun 22/2010

Jun 22/2010

A happy heart housed in a tired body
Brilliant future, perfect future
Eat the pavement, troubles diminished
Happy present, perfect present

Jun 21/2010

Jun 21/2010

Cold rain,
wet clothes,
fading regrets,
warm thoughts.